It’s been over a year since I’ve written a blog post and it’s been long overdue. 2018 will bring more posts; its a resolution. Or wait. Maybe not a resolution; maybe just a promise to myself. I’m horrible with resolutions.
I started this blog for many reasons. Writing is therapy for me, right next to cooking and cleaning. No joking there. Writing is also a way for me to share and encourage my readers who have in turn shared and encouraged me so much over the last 5 years.
I just wanted to say a huge thank you to all of you have followed along the last 5 years. This next year will be a journey and I look forward to having you each along for the ride. To my new readers, be ready. Grateful Imperfections was created with each of you in mind. I pray you find strength in your imperfections, become grateful for them, and change the world around you because of them. This year, I want to hear your stories, your victories, I want YOU to encourage readers by having a spotlight on this blog. So, for those of you who are already itching to become grateful for your imperfections, jump in, we’re going to ride through this next year together.
As I dive head first into each new year, I typically just say a quick thanks to the Lord for the year before while counting all my blessings, ignoring all the struggles, tucking away all the hurts, and clinging to the goodness that will keep me moving forward. However, this new year I’m relishing in all of 2017, the good and the bad. Why do you ask? Well, at the beginning of 2017 I vowed to learn to be vulnerable again. I learned so much of what I was missing was simply because I had become hard, callused, and had so many walls built up to keep all the pain out, but as a result of that, I was keeping out all of the joy as well. I was numb. I was tired of it. I missed laughing and feeling the joy, I missed crying at the beautiful things, I missed crying at the things that broke me, I missed feeling His sweet presence upon my heart. So, I committed to walking forward in the journey to become vulnerable once again. Little did I know what the journey was going to look like. Over the next few weeks I’ll share more with you about the set backs, the ugly, the uglier, and the ugliest details of that journey, but I promise to also share with you how incredible it was and how much its changed my life on so many levels.
2017 brought a lot for me, for my family, and for the community around me, but in the midst of my personal journey, I found strength in vulnerability and through that I found myself learning how to fully trust in God. I truly believe my willingness to fully surrender to Him allowed me to fully trust in Him, which I know was crucial in my surviving this past year on so many levels.
There were a lot of “I’m sorry”, “bear with me”, “don’t give up on me”, and “please pray for me” this past year as I continually broke down walls. I’m sure many of those around me can attest to the truth that I was down right ugly at times and for majority of them, they had no idea why. I was daily fighting this battle of surrendering myself to Christ fully, which meant I was no longer in control; that I was allowing Him to be in control. That was new for me. I like being in control, I like knowing that the plan is. I’m terrified and downright fearful of the unknown. Well, I was. ;)
I was learning that as I became more confident in Christ, I became more confident in who I truly was, and with that I learned not to be sorry for who I am or try to hide behind all those walls I had built. I no longer wanted to wear the title of always being full of strength and confidence, I no longer wanted to constantly carry others burdens and never hand over any of my own, I no longer wanted to always be ok because I was worried that people would pity me, I no longer wanted to be totally ok with having so my physical limitations because of each disease and disability I carry. I wanted to be real and sometimes being real means not always having the answers and being ok, but you know what the biggest thing I learned through all of that is? It doesn’t mean I’m weak because I’m not always on top of my game. Weakness comes when we let all those things drive us down and away from Christ. When we surrender all those very real things to Him and trust Him with all of it, we are victorious, we are strong, we are courageous, and we are warriors. I became a warrior in 2017 and 2018 better look out because I’m stronger, braver, and happier than I’ve ever been. For the first time in my life, I’m letting Christ lead the way and even better, I’m letting Him carry me on the days I’m struggling instead of trying to carry myself.
I learned so much and I’m growing in so many ways, but I still have A LOT of work, but this year I’m ok with sharing my journey along the way with all of you. I’ve come out of hiding and I’m incredibly grateful for those of you who have been on this journey with me. Some of you have seen the ugliest parts of this year and have stuck by me, have given me more chances, have held my hand, have cried with me, have rejoiced with me, have pushed me when I needed it, have stopped me and made me listen when I didn’t want, but most of all, have loved me unconditionally. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
To my incredible husband, you by far have been my biggest supporter this past year and without your constant love and encouragement to me, I would’ve given up before February. ;) I love you so much. Thank you for being my best friend and loving me so well. I couldn’t have asked for a better man to be by my side. (Side note; single ladies, don’t settle, find a man who loves Jesus more than he loves you. We’ll talk about this later. *wink*)
There’s so many beautiful details, new adventures, life changes, and hardships that 2017 brought that I’ll share along the way, but for now, I encourage you to relish in all that 2017 gave you and be ready for all that 2018 has. As Joel Taylor posted this morning on his IG, “I feel led to release the anointing for breakthroughs, healings, and extravagant miracles to all of you”.
I’m ok with all the ugly that 2017 had, indebted for all the good it had, and expectant for all He has for me in 2018. Are you ready? Lets do this!
Each time he said, So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.