Vulnerable post (September Update)

This week has been harder than I anticipated. Processing the news from my neurologist appointment has been overwhelming. Yesterday, I spiraled into a crippling anxiety attack—moments where I couldn’t catch my breath, hours of crying, just completely undone. 

The neurologist told me walking isn’t in my future for long. He was astonished I’m even still walking with how bad my spine is currently. With the severity of my spina bifida, I’m in less than 1% of people like me who can actually walk. That reality hit deep.

The only option ahead is a very invasive 6–8 hour spinal column shortening surgery, which would mean at least two weeks away from my family in Indy. And I’m scared—scared I won’t make it through surgery, scared it won’t help, scared it’ll cause more problems than it solves. Just scared.

But even in the fear, I’m clinging to the truth that God has not left me and will not leave me. I keep reminding myself that His strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9), even when my body feels like it’s failing me and my heart is overwhelmed.

For now, we’re praying, waiting, and asking the Lord for wisdom and peace in all the decisions ahead. Also, wouldn’t mind the Lord giving me full and complete healing. 💛

Edit: full of so much gratefulness and love thanks to each of you and your beautifully kind and uplifting words. ❤️